Saturday, 4 January 2014

How Do I Know?

*wipes off dust and cobwebs*

This post has been in the draft section since last year. Which is really just last week. Haha. I don't know why I didn't post this then. Well I'm posting it now.

I think it's cute when my friends ask me for relationship advices. I am that friend that is single but thinks he is emotionally capable of understanding what it's like to be in a relationship. Mostly I give clich├ęs like, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be" or "Please stop asking me questions, I have to learn about Trichomonas vaginalis."

But the other day I was talking to my friend and it goes something like this:

"Hey, how do I know if he's the one?" She asked.

"Why can't we ever have a normal conversation?

"C'mon! I'm serious. How do I know? I really don't want to commit unless I am sure about it. The last time I did, I got hurt real bad."

"I know. I was there." I said.

"So you know how important it is for me to know whether this guy is the right one."

I sighed and I paused for a while. 

"Do you have a pen and a piece of paper with you?" I asked.


"Okay. I want you to write down 10 things that you are most insecure about yourself. The things you don't like about yourself. The things that you wish you can change but you can't. The things that you wish you never had. Or the things that people always tease you about. The things that haunt you. The things that keep you awake at night."

"Um.. okay."

I waited for her to list them down. It didn't take her long.

"Okay I got them," she said.

"Okay. That's NOT a list of the things you should change. Or a list of your weaknesses. That's a checklist. How you know if he's the one? If he loves everything about you, including those 10 things in your list. Someone who thinks you're not less than perfect. Someone who celebrates you for that 10 things. Someone that understand that those 10 things don't define you but they are still a part of you. He is the one, if he makes you kinda glad that you have those 10 things."

"But how do I know whether he loves these 10 things?"

"If he is the one, he will make sure you know."

"I'm just scared. What if this one doesn't work out?"

"Look, sometimes you gotta stop asking yourself 'what if it doesn't work out' ...

and start asking yourself...

what if it does?"

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